
i twist and gasp
open and close my mouth
searching for air
whenever a sturgeon is caught in the rainy river
i know
the feel of strange hands touching my body
the struggle
to be free
the longing
to go where i want to go
i feel
the impact of stick or rock on bone
the splash of colour
then the emptiness that is my head
my head like a midnight sky if the stars and moon were captured
by another heaven
i know
even when i am awake again
sitting at the kitchen table
staring at my plate with its bramble design
and rough chipped edges
i know
that is why i do not eat sturgeon
because i know
when a sturgeon is caught in the rainy river
i am a sturgeon
and i dangle on hooks
Kateri Akiwenzie-Damm, “sturgeon” from My Heart Is a Stray Bullet. Copyright © 1997 by Kateri Akiwenzie-Damm. Reprinted by permission of the author.
Source: An Anthology of Canadian Native Literature in English, 4th ed. (Oxford University Press, 2013)